Being Gay is Disgusting

I was born in Sydney, city of sinners. In the mid-80s, my family moved North to Brisbane, city of slow-driving sinners. Raised Catholic, I came to my senses in my teens, partly because I found religion to be utterly boring, and partly because I discovered that girls were generally more worthy of my attention.

My interest in religion was rekindled to a certain extent when I, quite accidentally, went on a date with a Born-Again Christian. The interest wasn't spiritual, but rather social. It was strange to me that an intelligent, super-hot girl was so caught up in this thing called the Bible... which we began to read at the end of our first date. Not the best first-date in history.

So I started reading the Bible... and stopped shortly after, because it is, after all, a very long and boring book. It remains my considered opinion that, whether or not it is God's inspired Word, the Bible is quite possibly the worst-written piece of literature still in print today.

Inspired, though, by the potential of the stories that were buried under the tragic narrative style and twelve-hundred-year-long begat-a-thons, I set out to paraphrase the Good Book in a more readable way. Seven years later, Being Gay is Disgusting was born. Yes, seven years; I'm that lazy.

What people are saying about me... behind my back!

Amazing guy with an amaz­ing talent" - Paul, Australia

Falzon’s accessible and jokey paraphrasing makes the Bible's inglorious parts impossible to ignore - The Front Page Online

Some of it... is just completely dis­honour­able." - Lauren, USA

Are you sure he's not gay?" - Gay guy

I have no son!" - Edward's father

Well, don't just sit there; say hello!